Heileman's Special Export

Price: Approximately 70 cents a can ($12.99 + tax for a 18 pack)

Aroma:

Hints of corn, malt, hops (more than the last few), and metal

Appearance:

Pale Yellow

Style:

Dortmunder/Export Lager (Pale Lager)

Flavor:

I'm happy to say this beer has flavor...unlike the last few I've tried. Thin taste of corn/malt, prevalent alcohol, and noticeable hop bitterness. (which is a treat, as I loves me some hops) It starts subtle, and works its way to a fever pitch in the finish. There are evident metal flavors, but they don't necessarily take away from it. It seems these cheap beers yearn desperately for the can to help it with the taste, and in an odd way they do. I'll say that I'm not off put by the taste of the can...unless that's all I can taste.

Mouthfeel:

Light and bitey

A Word On The Warm:

In general it tastes the same, though the corn and the alcohol come through a little stronger. It's good either way, but it is a bit more lively when cold.

Comments:

This was one of the Heileman's best selling brews, his best being Old Style. It was brewed to cater to those looking for a more exotic import flavor, while paying a domestic price. It must have worked because it's still around. Sadly Heileman's has been long gone, only to be consumed by the budget beer machine Pabst. Pabst does a good job at keeping these beers alive, but it's too bad that these great American breweries get knocked down and swept up for pennies. All in all a good beer, with a rich history.

Recommendation:

I enjoyed this beer and would buy it again. I would also recommend it to friends if they were looking for something cheap, with a bit of flavor. Not the be all end all, but certainly worth the money.

Conclusion:

Special Ex passed the test

Links:

Special Export

Wiki on Dortmunder

Northern Reserve Golden Lager

Northern Reserve Golden Lager

Price: Approximately 45 cents a can ($4.99 + tax for a 12 pack)

Aroma:

Mostly malty, small hop note, pretty thin

Appearance:

Light gold, very clear

Style:

American Adjunct Lager

Flavor:

The best way to describe the taste is to liken it to audio. It's like the treble and bass are turned way down, and the mids are blasted. It starts bland, hits hard in the middle with very effervescent malty/corny/sweet flavor, and finishes very weak. For some reason there's a woody taste...leaves me with more questions than answers. On the plus side, you can't really taste the can.

Mouthfeel:

The carbonation bites but is very light

A Word On The Warm:

Unsurprisingly enough warmth doesn't bring much else to the palette...although I almost enjoy it better warm. It tastes the same, but the warmth smoothes out the odd flavor misfires.

Comments:

This is again a Minnesota beer, and of course it's from Cold Springs. I'm beginning to think nothing good comes from there. Every beer I have ever tried from there is horrible...always lacking in something. I'm sure they mean well but yikes. I have to believe Northern, Blue Diamond, and Cold Springs breweries are related, because the beers from that area share so many similarities...and that's not a good thing. I couldn't resist the price and new off the bat it would fit this experiment. I can't say I hated it, but I definitely did not like it.

Recommendation:

I might recommend it to someone who doesn't discriminate among beers and is on a budget, but that's about it. Otherwise just pass on by, forget the price and buy something you know...your taste buds will thank you.

Conclusion:

Northern Reserve...Reserve room for something better.

Blue Diamond Lager

Price: Approximately 49 cents a can ($5.49 + tax for a 12 pack)

Aroma:

Smells a little like beer, but there's not much there to pick apart.

Appearance:

Light gold, very clear

Style:

American Adjunct Lager

Flavor:

This beer is extremely boring! There is little to no flavor...it's like drinking Mendota springs if they had a watered down beer flavor. Extremely effervescent, with a slight malt flavor and a hop note that is so slight you wonder if you are imagining it. Aluminum seems to be the dominant flavor, which is truly sad. It has a weird soap aftertaste. I don't feel like I'm adequately describing its shortcomings...use your imagination.

Mouthfeel:

Very carbonated and light

Comments:

This beer is a sad excuse for beer. I'm saddened by the fact that it is made in Minnesota and is as bad as it is. Extremely easy to drink because it tastes like club soda with a splash of beer.

On the plus side it doesn't have any adverse affects on the G.I.
I'm really trying to come up with a positive, but I'm finding it difficult.
If given the choice between never having a beer again, or drinking Blue Diamond, I would choose Blue Diamond...but that's not saying much.

Recommendation:

I would recommend this beer to anyone who is not a big fan of beer, because it has such a weak flavor. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who liked beer, and I would not buy again myself. Yikes

Conclusion:

Blue Diamond is the cubic zirconia of beer.

Blatz Beer

Price: Approximately 58 cents a can ($12.99 + tax for a 24 pack)

Aroma:

A light skunk (probably a mix of hops and sulfates), a hint of malt, a bit of metal

Appearance:

Light gold, very clear

Style:

American Adjunct Lager - A lager that in addition to malts such as wheat and barley, use un-malted grains such as corn & rice for sugar

Flavor:

Thinly malty, slight hop note, finishes bitter. This is not typical of this style in my experience. This is not to say there is no sweetness, but it's more in the body than in the finish...which is surprising. The finish has a bit of a bite, which I appreciate...it keeps you coming back for another sip. Since it comes from a can it inevitably has hints of metal, which in an odd way rounds out the flavor.

Mouthfeel:

Light!

A Word On The Warm:

The warmth doesn't really bring anything else out...perhaps a bit more of the thin malt flavor. You also begin to taste the alcohol, it's not overwhelming, just present.

Comments:

This beer was a great starter for this experiment. It is a perfect example of the American adjunct lager style. There's nothing really crazy about it, which is probably why this beer has been around so long.

It is produced in large quantities and my bet is it's consumed in the same fashion. You could easily drink them one after another without much affect other than being full.

This is one of the many brands that Pabst Brewing Company has bought out over the years, but still has a rich history, and a flock of loyal fans across the Midwest.

Recommendation:

I would totally recommend this beer to friends, for its affordability and light and semi-tasty flavor. I would buy this one again.

Conclusion:

Blatz won't break the bank or your taste for beer.

Links:

Blatz History

Wiki on American-style lager

Pasbt Brewing Co.

Expladuction

This idea came to me randomly through a combination of seeing ridiculously inexpensive beer at my favorite liquor store, talking to others about beers they have hated (I will state that up until this point I have not tried a beer I didn’t like…I’m sure this will ruin that for me), and sheer desire to keep my mind off of what I was doing at work. And there’s always the super rad economy, and the fact that me and my wife are on a strict budget. I also love beer and have been somewhat of an elitist, opting for the finer brews and shunning all others…time for some humble pie. So needless to say there is a plethora of good reasons for this experiment.

Normally I hate blogs…well let me clarify. There are professional blogs, written by those who have knowledge of an industry or subject and are fairly objective. They have intelligence and try and spice it up with a bit of opinion in varying degrees.

You have others that blog about a process or experiment…and when they are well written are a semi-entertaining journey to onlookers (This is my hope for this blog).

And then we come to the reason why I don’t like blogs…drama. I know that some view blogs as somewhat of a diary, but in my understanding diaries are private and not shared with the universe. Granted most blog sites give a private option, but what would be the point. Just open up a Word file and type your tears away, but it’s not enough I guess. Some people feel the need to express themselves publicly and make a spectacle of their:

• extreme intelligence : which is usually just self-righteous babble, generally political

• being “jaded”/life is so hard : when it’s usually some over-privileged kid in the burbs

• Relational mishaps: every little bump in the road with every single relationship in their lives…which is usually mind numbing to everyone except the person writing it

Granted I’m being harsh for comedic value, and I too have fallen victim to having public blogs…and have binged and purged. I do find myself wanting to share my opinion, so I don’t necessarily judge anyone for having a blog. My wife blogs, but she has a knack for being objective and concise, which I appreciate as a reader. My brother in law has a blog, which is mainly self deprecating and humorous.

All that said I wanted to find a way to write, share a fair opinion after examining something, and hopefully entertain some in the process. So if you enjoy this web log then please feel free to comment, suggest horrible beers, yell at me if the swill I drink is your favorite and I just ripped it to pieces. It will only enhance this whole project. Word to your mother.

Process

So obviously there has to be some objectivity to this experiment…well there doesn’t have to be, but I’m kind of drawn to a semi-scientific approach. So I’m breaking down the review into several parts.

Before I start I will state that for the time being I will only review beers in a can…mainly because super cheap beer isn’t bottled for the most part.

I will consume and review two of the same beer. One at 34-36 degrees, and a second at room temperature.

Many have a stigma about warm beer, but to me to drink a warm beer and enjoy it means you truly love the brew. Also, as with many things, the taste opens up at warmer temperatures. You can taste things you may have missed, for better or worse. As I taste the two beers, I will describe as best I can whatever horror/delight I may experience.

I will go through the following process with the cold beer, and comment with any additions that might arise with the warm beer near the end.

First things first: how much does the beer cost per can.

Secondly, I will pour the beer into a glass and photograph and post the picture, so you following along at home can see what swill I’m consuming.

Third, I will inspect the nose/aroma (smell of the beer) at first pour.

Forth, I will then comment on the mouthfeel.

I will comment, give a yeah/nay recommendation, and conclude with a final thoughts type one-liner.